God Thinks You Are Amazing, And So Do I, Satirical Interview Series, Part 1

This week our interview series takes us to New York, where we meet up with motivational speaker and celebrity Christian, Clancey Devereux. Her new book, titled, God Thinks You Are Amazing, And So Do I, just landed on the New York Times best seller list.

Monomaniac: Tell me, Clancey, what is the problem with American Christianity today?

Clancey: People believe in God, but they no longer believe in themselves. They no longer seize their internal divine energy and live authentically. They live in hovels of self-regret and self-abnegation because of confining and constraining theological systems. If all of us could see how resplendent we are, how we all pulsate all through with vibrancy and authenticity and beauty and color and love, then we could seize our birthright.

Monomaniac: I don't mean to be rude, Clancey, but I may need some help understanding what you just said.

Clancey: Our task is to scale the heights of Olympus, or perhaps the heights of Sinai. Many, perhaps even you, are still mired in the Catacombs of your own shame and regret and judgmentalism, shut off from love, shut off from people. No world crusher, such as I am, can find such places accommodating. They are too small for us. Are you not suffocating in your tiny world of theological correctness?

Monomaniac: I don't think so... Again, please help me to understand what you are saying. I have perhaps been raised in a different tradition than yours, so pretend you are evangelizing me to your brand of Christianity.

Clancey: You see, that is exactly my point--I'm not evangelizing anyone to anything! There are no brands of Christianity! I want to bring people back to themselves instead of the constant beggarly search for some leader to make everything easy. All the world's religions and peoples deliver to us stories, like premature babies of an endangered species, tenderly born into our care. It is our charge to nurture them, to embrace them as though we alone can provide them the breast. They mature to full blossoming only under our care. You would not commit infanticide?

Monomaniac: Um, well, no, but... you said you are a Christian. What do you think of those Christians who seem to think you are a heretic for saying that Jesus is only one of many "ideas impelling us toward love and authenticity."

Clancey: (Pausing) (Deep Pondering) F--k them! That is what I say.

Monomaniac: Yeah, F--k them! Christians are pretty judgmental! I mean lots of things work if you want to "seize the day" and "kill it" and "own it" and "crush it" in your relationships and in your work and your service and in cross fit and the like, am I right?

Clancey: You are mocking me. How adorable. I love you anyway (Hugs me for an uncomfortable duration).

To answer your cynicism, I just want it to be about love and building a life story and not rules and exclusionary judgments. I'm done with it! I've had it with Christians policing my behavior. Jesus embraced prostitutes and beggars and tax collectors. He embraced and validated their stories. He didn't hold people accountable! Today we have a whole professional contingent of pseudo-scholarly critics. When will they feed the poor? When will they step away from their studies for awhile to go out and do the good Jesus asks us to do? When will they stop critiquing my theology and start living like I do?

Monomaniac: Can I ask a question, delicately, that may seem confrontational?

Clancey: If you must.

Monomaniac: Do you think your disgust for the "theological caste" (as you call them in your book) is anything like a moral judgment? Do you think that you are correct and they are not? Are you validating their stories? Perhaps their passionate interest in Biblical theology is their authenticity, yes?

Clancey: I see what you are trying to do. You are trying to play linguistic games with me. It won't work. Look, you strike me as one of the members of this theological caste. What has drawing lines and condemning people ever done for you? Look to the people, as Jesus did!

Monomaniac: Do you think that Jesus first "looked to the Father," and then "looked to the people?" Did Jesus find the Father in the people? Or did He find the people in the Father? And did Jesus encourage people to express their authentic selves, or did He pledge to absorb the wrath of God justly leveled against them for their miserably sinful selves? Did He offer the slightest promise that people could live worthily without Him?

Clancey: What?