A teen formerly known as Jude Butler has announced, via social media, that he is a lovable but endangered pacific sea otter. Such an announcement would have been received in less enlightened ages past (like 20 years ago) as controversial, but now we know that this demonstration of violence against reality is only adorable.
"It all started when I was young and would always eat on my back using my torso as a table," said Jude. "To her credit my mom never demeaned me, never thought I might be confused. She just thought that I might be experimenting, that perhaps I didn’t feel inside what my genetics indicated I should feel. And I certainly didn’t! I knew inside that I was a sea otter and not a planet polluting homo sapien!”
Since the pacific sea otter is an endangered species, and since California is an open minded and groundbreaking progressive state, the Monterrey Bay Aquarium has agreed to house and feed “Whiskers” (formerly Jude Butler) and to protect him from natural threats like conservatives or religious people or the tyranny of his own biology.
As of today, Whiskers has begun his state funded full transition into a sea otter. The process is said to require multiple stages and multiple operations, but has begun with otter fur implants and various dental procedures to enable Whiskers to eat live sea urchin.
As of today, Whiskers has begun his state funded full transition into a sea otter. The process is said to require multiple stages and multiple operations, but has begun with otter fur implants and various dental procedures to enable Whiskers to eat live sea urchin.
