Friday, November 15, 2019

Woman Committed to Gluten Free and Organic Food, Eastern Meditation, Hemp Kombucha, and Lymphatic Drainage Massage Dies at 47

Sausalito, California

Lilith O’Hara led an exemplary life. She walked daily, ate only gluten free and absurdly expensive organic food. She faithfully practiced yoga and pilates and hiked the Sierra Nevada. She strutted about confidently revealing an eerily thin frame of approximately 3% body fat, utterly expunging any trace of femininity from her body. But for Lilith, this was not a problem, because she was androgynously beautiful to herself. She was still single at 47 because she intimidated men and women by her overall excellence and severe beauty.

According to authorities in Mono County, California, Lilith was out hiking on Sunday and encountered a bear and was eaten alive, the bear not being one of the California vegan bears. 

Lilith's death might be considered ironic to some with an overly inflated sense of irony, but really her death is merely a poetic demonstration of the beauty of the circle of life.