The Nobel prize awarding committee has made an enormous mistake. In its foolish enthusiasm, the committee awarded the Nobel prize for medicine to Dr. Carol Johnson, a pasty white cisgendered Christian male devil, who also happened to cure cancer. They prematurely awarded Dr. Johnson on the basis of his work alone, seeing as how curing cancer is fairly impressive. But then a heroic researcher at the organization discovered who he is, despite his girl name.
In a statement, the Nobel Prize Organization acknowledged that in the past it awarded the prestigious honor based on work that substantially advanced medical science and improved the human condition. But for too long medical science has been dominated by Euro whiteys. Just google it and you'll see staring back at you faces of oppression and privilege (with a few token exceptions).
In a statement, the Nobel Prize Organization acknowledged that in the past it awarded the prestigious honor based on work that substantially advanced medical science and improved the human condition. But for too long medical science has been dominated by Euro whiteys. Just google it and you'll see staring back at you faces of oppression and privilege (with a few token exceptions).
A spokesperson for the organization said, "Curing cancer is nice and all, but advancing intersectionality is even better. We just wish cancer had been cured by a left-handed transexual paraplegic black zim/zer from Detroit. It just goes to show you how deep our prejudices go that we can't find one."
When asked whether Dr. Johnson's cure for cancer might help all people and not just his own people, whoever they might be, the spokersperson said, "That is exactly how they keep the rest of us down. They make it seem that they care about all of us, but we will no longer be duped. We must rise above this system that would make us slaves to the oppressor. We now know that while it seems Dr. Johnson is giving us a gift; in reality, he is giving us shackles of obligation that we, for far too long, have been compelled to acknowledge in our contrite aquiescence." After her statement, several voices in the background were heard to say, "Amen!"
When asked whether Dr. Johnson's cure for cancer might help all people and not just his own people, whoever they might be, the spokersperson said, "That is exactly how they keep the rest of us down. They make it seem that they care about all of us, but we will no longer be duped. We must rise above this system that would make us slaves to the oppressor. We now know that while it seems Dr. Johnson is giving us a gift; in reality, he is giving us shackles of obligation that we, for far too long, have been compelled to acknowledge in our contrite aquiescence." After her statement, several voices in the background were heard to say, "Amen!"
