Man Bravely Joins Universal Chorus Condemning Obviously Bad People

USA

From the comfort of his suburban home, Jerry Smithers is unsettled. After a lovely dinner of Salmon and arugula salad, he saw a report on the news of a black man being killed by a police officer in another city.

Now Jerry sits before his computer screen. He must do something about all of this. He bangs out a Twitter post and cues it up, sweat pouring down his face. He knows this post will draw a line in the sand. He knows how controversial it is to come out against this kind of thing. How will all his white friends in cyberland react? The cursor on the screen just blinks back at Jerry. He paces the room for a few minutes more, wondering what kind of reaction it will cause. Will it go out like a rhetorical intercontinental ballistic missile into cyber-pseudo-world? What kind of sacrifice will it require? A thought passes through Jerry's head that if only he had lived 150 years ago, saying such things would have required real courage, but he suppresses that uncomfortable truth. The echo chamber of culture is louder still. He knows that a modern Lincoln, a modern King, are still needed. Their work is clearly unfinished. And he is just the man to finally also say something condemning such things in our time.

At long last, he summoned the courage of Wilberforce and hit send, then had a mild panic attack, which was quickly remedied by 18 Year old Macallan Scotch and a nap.

But the country thanks you, Jerry, not only for your compassion at the awful death of a man who clearly didn't deserve to die, but also for making your courageous stand and signaling your virtue so boldly, so nobly. You are carrying on the work of Frederick Douglas in our time. But remember, Jerry, fighting systemic injustice requires action also. The only way to do it is to destroy local businesses, because of the symbolism.