Liberal voices everywhere are pooling their impressive intellectual resources to find all the flaws.
Said Zephyr Livegood, “So few people today are willing to do the heavy intellectual lifting in our culture.” Grateful that all the world’s brightest and best people live in our times in the shining liberal wonderlands of our big coastal cities and big altruistic universities, she went on:
“We need better leadership than we have had! I mean, while it is true that guys like Washington and Jefferson founded an impressive imperialistic nation—and all I’ve done is get a degree from the University of Virginia and write some blog posts—they were still the bad guys, much worse than me and my friends! We don’t have slaves, or even buy stuff made in Indonesia. All our clothing comes from a Portland co-op."
In an effort to appropriately identify the flawed people, Zephyr was kind enough to supply us with a list of people with whom we can compare our lives to feel superior:
1. All the people who wore black face at some point in their miserable racist lives, except liberals like Jimmy Kimmel and Robert Downey Jr., because of the context and everything.
2. Anyone who ever miss spoke on social media or in a college paper or in a high school yearbook or while in preschool.
3. The Police. Obviously!
4. Writers of tone deaf satire.
5. White people. Even the mostly white people. And even the poor white people.
6. Men. Especially the white ones.
7. Rich people. (Except rich black people. And also except all the rich celebrities who think the right way.)
8. Black people who vote Republican.
9. Anyone who offends against the ever changing standards of incoherent postmodernists.
9. Anyone who offends against the ever changing standards of incoherent postmodernists.
10. Hitler, mostly for being white, like Trump, and like the Police.
Curiously missing from her list was any mention of people like Mao, Stalin, Pol Pot, Castro, or people of that ilk.
“Grace must be earned with pledges of fidelity to one's comrades. Some people give grace cheaply to anyone who seems sincere in asking for it. We give it only to those who prove to us that they are truly sorry for having been white. We must see public humiliation, cancellation, and groveling obeisance to the collective. Only then will we possibly consider--what is that word--forgiveness."
