Progressive Church to Have Vegan, Pescatarian, Gluten-Free Pot-Luck

Bolder, Colorado

In an effort to more fully reverence the planet and create sustainable pot-lucking practices, Infinite Sustainability Church of Bolder, Colorado recently held its first "Mother Earth Potluck."

After the service, in which congregants praised various deities in various languages in various ways, like some great jazz concert to every imagined deity, including a group vowing silence in reverence to the "unknown god," the community of Infinite Sustainability joined together in feasting and pharmaceuticals. There were many dishes for the community to enjoy, but some of the favorites were:

1. Lentils on a bed of grass and julienned Lebanese cedar. This was paired with a mulled hemp wine.

2. A mini pot of CBD infused compost with succulent earthworms.

3. For the pescatarians, a live minnow stew in a seawater broth with picked kelp.

4. And for dessert, the curdled secretions of the Himalayan mountain goat, sprinkled with candied crickets over a gluten free mound of organic coconut flour.

One of the community members, Zoe Earthrider Smith, said of the event, "It is beautiful to see so many people of different races and sexual identities and religions come together to the glory and beauty and pleasure of Mother Gaia.”

Unfortunately, one of the vegans inadvertently partook of the fish stew and had to be ceremonially purged, which is something like a biological exorcism too frightening to describe here.

All in all, the event was an enormous success, so much so that planners are already excited about next month's potluck, in which they hope to double the attendance to twelve.